Many are asking ‘what is Death Grip Syndrome?’. We see it pop up on reddit, quora, in health journals and in letters to editors of magazines & online print. Many who respond in the public lens are uneducated on what Death Grip Syndrome actually is. Why? Because Death Grip Syndrome is still poorly understood, and many claim that it is not recognised within the peer-reviewed medical community, and therefore it cannot exist.
If you are reading this, you know that is bullshit. “Try another position”, “get out of your own head”, “get the proper visuals in your head”, “get more turned on”, “just make do finishing with your hand” and the like are not the final solution. Natural, happy, giggle inducing sex that leaves you and your partner happily satisfied is your birthright. And there is a path to getting there.
Death Grip Syndrome is characterised by:
- An inability to masturbate with lubricant or with a sex toy;
- A reliance on a particular hand motion (often dry) to achieve ejaculation; and
- Often accompanied by a dependency on fantasy or pornography to achieve the arousal needed to climax.
You are probably reading this because you, or your partner, are unable to have ‘successful’ sex. By that, I mean the male in the party is unable to ejaculate through intercourse, or by any other method that isn’t manual masterbation. This is a horrible situation to be in, and can lead to problems with your sex life, low self esteem for you and your partner, and even the eventual failure of your relationships. I know. I’ve been there, too.
So, what is Death Grip Syndrome?
‘Death Grip’ is a term used to describe the hypothesised causal link between the grip used to masturbate and the [stimulation + arousal] that triggers the [orgasm + ejaculation] response. While the term is gaining prominence in psychology as it seemingly becomes more common, it typically is nested below the umbrella condition of ‘Delayed Ejaculation’ – meaning a requirement for significant stimulation to ejaculate, or not being able to ejaculate at all.
Can the grip of your hand really impact your ability to orgasm with others?
Unfortunately, for what seems like a small subset of the male population (including me), yes. Why is this the case for some and not others? We don’t currently know.
How do I know if I have Death Grip?
One easy test is to ask yourself this: can you ejaculate when masturbating using lube?
If you cannot, chances are you have isolated the potential causes of unsuccessful ejaculation down to Death Grip.
The good news here – this is curable WITHOUT medical help / $100 psychology books / drugs / a life changing intervention / a tibetan pilgrimage finding the lost prayer scrolls of the long forgotten velociraptor sultan.
But it’s not just about Death Grip…
It is important to state here that Death Grip Syndrome is, somewhat mistakenly, becoming a catch-all term for other potential causes of Delayed Ejaculation. This is especially true on some subreddits. Here are some of the other potential causes:
- physiological causes of Erectile Dysfunction (hormones, nerve damage etc.);
- Pornography Induced Erectile Dysfunction (PIED) (potentially related to DGS);
- psychological causes (trust issues, fantasy dependence, poor mindfulness), and
- medication causes (antidepressants).
For my own Delayed Ejaculation, here is what I self diagnosed with:
This website will seek to provide the latest information on most of the above causes, but disclaim clearly where general advice should cease and specialist advice be sought.
However, no matter what the ultimate cause of your Delayed Ejaculation problem, the DGS Community offers information and an anonymous forum to help:
- Learn about what is stopping your birthright to have great sex and relationships.
- Implement tried and tested strategies to fix yourself.
- Support others on their journey (everything takes willpower).
- Reclaim your masculinity, and delight your partners with sexually realised desire.
Who am I to talk? I’m a recovered DGS sufferer. You can read more about my own journey and what worked for me here. I have battled this condition for 13 years and only recently conquered it.
What should I do next?
If you are suffering from Death Grip, Delayed Ejaculation or Porn Induced Erectile Dysfunction, you should read our action plan to understand what is needed to address these conditions.
Yourbrainonporn – one of the few places you can go and find dedicated research on the link between your brain, your penis, your ejaculation threshold, porn and masturbation.