Cure Death Grip Syndrome with a Fleshlight

Death Grip Syndrome can be cured with a Fleshlight. And a little discipline. If you have read our Action Plan on beating Death Grip, you will know we advocate the use of a Fleshlight to cure Death Grip Syndrome, how to use it and why Death Grip Syndrome occurs in the first place.

Why use a Fleshlight to cure Death Grip Syndrome?


  • It is one of the best toys to mirror what a vagina feels like – “Warm, wet, loose” relative to your hand.
  • It comes with a extremely versatile hands free mount, called the ‘shower mount’ but usable virtually anywhere. This is key to achieving a complete hands-free orgasm rewiring.
  • Fleshlights come in lifelike versions and non-lifelike versions. If one feels the vagina looking models are inappropriate, there are less human looking variants, like the Flight models.
  • Fleshlights are available worldwide, with distributors in most major countries, and if you buy from (not some local store selling cheaper made counterfeits-see below) you’ll have a well-made tool that won’t perish for years.

So, which Fleshlight should I buy?

So I used to recommend the Lotus, Mini Lotus, and Pink Lady.

(EDIT: some of this website’s visitors have written in told me about their frustrations with learning to climax with a Fleshlight–in this case I’ve been recommending getting the Vibro Lady to make the transition a little easier [and in extreme cases, you could check out the Vavoom Pack, which is actually a pretty economical deal and, I can tell you, mimics a blowjob pretty well]. Learning to climax from something slow, warm and wet, instead of fast, dry and edge-fantasy filled can be hard! The Vibro Lady is great because it isn’t too ‘exotic’, and you can progress to more natural by turning the vibrations off.)

By lifelike, we mean the most similar to a vagina, and typically least exotic. The point here is to be able to climax with your lover, not learn to orgasm with something more intense than a vagina. Let me put it another way – you don’t want to buy the Stoya Destroya!The Lotus and Mini Lotus have been discontinued, but you can still get the Mini Lotus (at the time of writing) as a sleeve (doesn’t come with the case – this needs to be purchased separately – see below). One must also buy the case separately. So, here are our suggestions:

>> Option 1: Pink Lady (or Vibro Lady) + Shower Mount + lube
The Pink Lady was the first Fleshlight and is also the most simple. It just has a smooth funnel beyond the lips. In our opinion, it is most like the real thing and our number one recommendation. You will want to buy:
+ The Pink Lady Classic (or Vibro Lady);
+ The Shower Mount to break your hand-penis brain wiring; and
+ Some water-based lube (doesn’t matter where from, just make sure it isn’t silicon based)

>> Option 2: Mini-Lotus sleeve + Case + Shower Mount + lube
The Mini-Lotus sleeve was designed to feel most like a vagina; however, after reading many reviews, it appears to offer more stimulation than the Pink Lady. As such, the Mini Lotus remains our second recommendation, and the combination of sleeve + buying the case separately tends to make it more expensive.
For this option, you will want to buy:
+ The Mini-Lotus Sleeve;
+ An empty Fleshlight Case;
+ The Shower Mount; and
+ Some water-based lube

I found Fleshlights available online from a local store…

I got to chatting to a guy who was 27 and trying to follow the Fleshlight plan I outlined  on this website, and he was complaining about how the Fleshlight got mouldy within a week, and lost its tightness. After confirming he did the right cleaning things (wash clean under a tap with warm water, dry and apply the powder to keep the super skin product in good condition), I was curious so asked him to send photos. Surprisingly, the Fleshlight was clearly not the same as the one I received from, so I did some digging and realised that because Fleshlight have done so well, there are counterfeit Fleshlights on the market, and apparently being stocked by reputable adult toy distributors (everyone is vulnerable to being scammed, I guess).

This was in the United States.

My advice: buy from You know you’ll get the real thing (which should last years, if you need it too). They have distribution houses in all the top countries, and it might save you the hassle (and annoyance) at receiving something that isn’t going to help you fix your sex life.

Hmm… I don’t want something so… human.

Many men (and their partners) have written in about being uncomfortable with using something graphically lifelike. Completely understandable, and you should look at the Flight options. These Fleshlights are not as long, being designed for travel, but most importantly have less lifelike aesthetics. There are a few options in this range, but we are recommending the Flight Aviator, as it is the less intense model.

But I’m gay – I want something more human, but less female

Adding this in after I was emailed a bunch of times by gay men looking to cure this same curse. Well, I went back to the Fleshlight site and they have a bunch of Fleshlights (called FleshJacks) now available specifically designed for men. You can should find them all here.

Don’t forget the lube

This is the most important part. If you have Death Grip Syndrome, you probably haven’t used too much lube in your life when it comes to masturbation. The lube that comes with the Fleshlight is fine, but all you need is water based lube (not silicon based, which will destroy the toy).

This can all end up being a bit expensive

Which was my thoughts exactly when I started down this path. Sometimes you can get value deals – I got my Pink Lady Classic plus lube plus the Shower Mount (and the renewal powder + antibacterial cleaner, which I’m not sure if you actually need) in a package deal that was quite doable. There is actually a deals page you should check in on here to see if there is an opportunity to save some money.

The other thing to ask yourself is this:

What would you pay to be cured of Delayed Ejaculation?

I spent $1,700 just on Hypnotherapy sessions. I spent untold hours reading research and combing through forums to try and find a workable, long-term path. I lost too much time not being happy and having regular sex.

But there is no silver bullet. All you can do is unwire and rewire your brain through a long and strict process. Breaking sometimes multiple decade long habits, and teaching yourself to climax with the feelings nature intended.

Did a Fleshlight cure your Death Grip Syndrome?

I want to hear from you! Contact me to share your story at I would love to host your story so you can help inspire others or even get the message out there that they are not alone.

Many have emailed me directly, sharing your stories, your misery, determination to fix your love lives, and success. 

Email me if you need to share your story!